I'll Believe It When I See It
by JoPo08
Summary: -Oneshot- When Alphonse looks at Science and Alchemy and seen what they've done to his life, he starts to wonder whether or not there is such a thing as a 'higher power'. But what does Ed think?


**A/N: Hey guys, my first story here on Fanfiction! Hope you like it! I had the song Brothers stuck in my head throught this whole thing!Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. And, I also have no personal malice against Christianity or any other religion, Ed's just atheist and has to play the role. So, if you review on my board getting mad because I insulted religion, sorry, but I will report you. Let's all just have good fun and read! **

**Info: Oneshot not Elricest (EWW! GROSS! NEVER!) **

**Word count: 2611**

* * *

The two brothers sat on the side of the hill and stared at the sunset before them. The sky was a spill of red and purple; the sun a large orange sinking into the horizon, and it rays shone brightly, as if having a final stretch before it went into slumber.

The older of the two, Edward, shielded his eyes from the sun with his right hand. A glint reflected off the metal hand, and after a twitch of the eye, the boy switched hands, and no such glitter bothered his eyes. He smiled.

The younger, yet larger, of the two, Alphonse, had no problem, for his own eyes glowed with the same burning intensity as that of the setting sun. He longed to stretch like that sun, and sleep peacefully.

But he couldn't, of course. That was his problem. A soul in a suit of armor, that was all he was. He no longer slept, ate, or even breathed. He hadn't blinked the sun out of his eyes for what seemed like an eternity now.

Seeing a sunset as beautiful as this it made him wonder how did alchemy, a science that he had rested his whole life upon, or even science in general, make something as beautiful as this? For a while now, the fourteen year old Alphonse Elric really wondered if there was something more out there. If there was a "spiritual leader" or a "god" out there. Many people seemed to believe that.

The thought had occurred during one of the many night he had been awake. Science had always said that once we die that our bodies rot and become a part of the Earth. There is no place for us afterward because we lose our consciousness and there is no "spirit" that we have. Alphonse was living proof that theory was wrong, for his brain, one of the main parts of the body that controls all the life systems, was gone. He had a soul, and so did all living creatures.

So his question was: What happens to the soul once its case (the body) has died? Did it burn away, into a void of nothingness, or did the soul go to a place somewhere, like Heaven or Hell, as the Jewish and all descendants believed. Did it go through the processes that the Buddhists thought, Karma, in which the soul was put into another "case", and depending on how the soul's life was lived previously would be how he lived in the next life. (And if so, Alphonse wanted to be a loved kitten. That would be wonderful.) And if so, what did his soul do in previous life to deserve the fate that he had now?

But whether or not he really believed it he wasn't sure. All he really knew was that Science, the one thing that had been "proved" to truly be real, had failed him.

* * *

"Hey Al!" Edward had been calling to his younger brother for a while now, and was starting to get annoyed.

"Yes Brother?" He replied sounding more dazed off than he wanted to be.

And Edward had caught it. "Nothin'. I just was surprised you haven't said anything, that's all. You're usually so sentimental about sunsets and all..." he drifted off into pointless small-talk, hoping that his brother's open attitude would make Alphonse tell him what was wrong. Eventually Edward drifted back into silence. Alphonse only murmured agreement.

Edward turned to his brother. Even if he was in a suit of armor, Edward could see Alphonse in the same position as that of when he was little thinking intently on something. His legs were up against his chest, cradled by one arm wrapped around his knees, and the other propped his chin while his elbow rested on his right knee. Alphonse hadn't noticed that his brother was staring at him.

"Al. Are you paying attention?"

Alphonse didn't even turn to his brother. "Yes Brother." It sounded automatic.

"Al, what's wrong?"

Alphonse turned his head toward his brother. "Nothing's wrong, Brother."

The truth was, Alphonse was afraid to tell Edward about his thoughts. He was sure his reaction would be one of two. Either Edward would be very angry, and would yell and pout about Alphonse "finding an excuse to give up on finding his body". Or, he would be very depressed, and think that he was insufficient for not being able to tell Alphonse what was right and wrong.

Alphonse hated that option more than the first, because his brother would be depressed. He didn't want that. Actually, it was the last thing he wanted, for he knew Edward was already depressed. Edward thought it was his fault that they were like this, and he never had forgiven himself, even after so many years.

"Al..." Edward's voice was stern yet calm, a tone he never took on. He was trying to coo Alphonse into telling. "I know something's on your mind." He smiled. "C'mon."

And Alphonse had caught the generic smile just as quickly as Edward had thought of it. "Nothing's wrong Brother, I'm just sort of sucked in by the sunset." He said the line with sincerity and innocence, and knew his brother wouldn't catch on.

He was wrong.

"Okay then. So _nothing's_ on your mind then?"

"Nope."

Edward was slightly caught off guard. Usually his brother confided everything to him; but now Edward wasn't sure. Alphonse had said a lot of things with that same tone, and Edward wondered how much Alphonse was hiding from him, and how often.

Edward tried another tactic. He made his smile fade, and looked out into the sunset, frowning now. "I can't believe you don't trust me Al. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Brother! Of course I trust you! It's just a small little thing anyway. I didn't want to bother you with it."

Edward would've grinned, but kept his facade. "So you _were_ hiding something! Now I even feel like more of a shitty brother, since you have to hide things from me..."

Alphonse didn't even let his brother finish. "I'm sorry! You're not a bad (Alphonse wasn't one to curse openly) brother at all! It's my fault! I didn't tell you and I should've, and I'm sorry."

Edward was slightly guilty for tricking his brother, but it wasn't enough to stop him. "It would make me feel better if you told me."

Alphonse didn't hesitate, but he did stutter his way through. "Well, Brother, you see, um... I was just thinking... that..."

"Thinking what?" Edward interrupted.

Alphonse paused to organize his thoughts, which didn't work out, and said quickly, "Well, I'm starting to wonder whether or not there's something out there, or if God exists, or if Science is all just another type of religion, or if Alchemy is really what I think it is."

Edward's mind was totally blank of any thought for a moment. Finally, when it got back to working, all that it could do was play back snippets of the last thing he heard. _"something out there... God exists... if Alchemy is really what I think it is."_ It seem to play over and over in his head.

Alphonse looked at his brother who hadn't responded yet. A silence had fallen ever since Alphonse had said his piece, and now he was starting to get worried about his brother. "Brother?" he said weakly.

Edward had been able to get back into reality during this time, and was now glaring at Alphonse. "How could you?" He asked.

Alphonse wasn't sure of Edward's reaction was now, because he sounded both angry and hurt. "Brother, I was just thinking, nothing I said was set in stone." Alphonse was afraid now. His brother was glaring at him more intensely.

Edward stood up. "So Alchemy doesn't exist now, huh?" His voice was hollow. "Everything I saw that night, it was all a lie, right Alphonse? I saw the gate, and you have too. Alchemy got us here, and it's gonna get us out of this."

"I understand that Brother. It's just--"

Edward held out his right hand and balled it into a fist. At this point he was yelling. "So if God exists, why did he do this to me! I thought he forgave sins Al." He pointed at his brother. "Not only that, but as punishment, He took you away from me, He made me do that to you. He would've been the one who's controlled our lives. He would've killed our mother, Al! SO IF HE EXISTS, AM I GOING TO HELL AL!?"

Alphonse was upset, he didn't want his Brother to be mad at him. Even more so though, he was angry; angry that his brother was **still **taking the blame, **still** wallowing in regret, and **still** not recognizing that it was his fault. He stood up and looked down at his brother. His body couldn't show emotion, but it portrayed nonetheless. "IF He existed Edward," Alphonse retorted. Edward was surprised by his tone of voice. Not only that, but he wasn't used to hearing HIS name being called by Al's voice. He had grown on "Brother". Edward had to purposefully stop himself from flinching away from the tall figure. Alphonse continued anyway. "He would have never taken anything away from you! It had _never_ been your fault. I had agreed against my judgement, and you paid for my stupidity, my false hopes. IF He existed, He would've been taking away from me. He would've been punishing **me**, because I was the sinner."

Alphonse turned about-face, and walked down the hill in the direction of the sun, remembering its powerful rays couldn't affect his eyes. He didn't know where he was walking, but he had to go somewhere, away from his brother. Alphonse knew Edward didn't know how much it had hurt him to say those words. Alphonse had always wanted to have his brother forgive him, but knew it wasn't going to be.

* * *

Edward stared after his brother, the giant metal armor that could usually be seen a long way away. Now, with the sun in his eyes, Edward couldn't see his brother, nor could he hear Alphonse, for he was too far away to having the clanking of his body be heard.

_ Clanking_. A surge of guilt came over Edward. He now identified his brother with a sound similar to that of bashing pots and pans against one another.

Edward was appalled when he looked in his head for a picture of his brother, and found the picture obscured. The only true memory clear of his brother was that terrible night when they tried bringing their mother back. The pale, afraid face of Alphonse was glued to his mind. Edward had lived with the seven foot tall suit of armor with his brother's soul on the inside for so long that he was starting to forget the real pictures of his brother. He banged himself mentally with those clanking pots and pans.

In the process of the banging, Edward then remembered what Alphonse had said, and he was sick to his stomach. _"… I was the sinner."_

It gave Edward a terrible feeling.

* * *

Alphonse had trekked his way to the river nearby, and was sitting by the bank and looking at his reflection in the water. The fish nearby swam near the opposite side of the bank, and the toads hopped away from him.

He couldn't blame them, he was seven feet tall.

But it still hurt.

Looking at his reflection again, he had a sudden urge to look at his blood rune, the thing his brother had made for him, and he would be able to see it in the reflection of the water. He took off his helmet, got on his knees, and gingerly leaned closer to the water, for he did not want to get the rune wet.

While he was leaning over, a blood-curdling scream came from behind him.

"ALPHONSE!" it was Edward's voice. But the loudness and unexpectedness of it startled him, and he fell into the water, panicking himself. He flailed his arms in hopes of balance, but he splashed into the water.

Death was imminent at this point, and Alphonse was afraid, not for himself, but for his brother. Alphonse wasn't sure what Ed would do what he was gone. He wanted to say a lot of things, but the only thing he could say, in whispers, was: "I love you, Brother."

Edward had expected to find Alphonse near the river. It was just his nature. He saw the seven foot tall suit of armor, and Edward was ready to apologize. He grinned, he knew Alphonse had been upset lately, and hoped this would cheer him up. When Ed got closer though, his heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

Alphonse was leaning over the bank. With his helmet _off. _Edward cried Alphonse's name at the top of his lungs, and then saw Al's arms flailing wildly. A large splash went in the water. Edward ran at top speed, his thoughts racing just as quickly. He started quickly saying in his head. "God, I swear to you that if I find out you do exist, I'll bash your head in if you **dare** hurt my brother!" (It didn't occur to him that he could be blaming a lot of other religions for this, but he didn't remember at the time he was even a full blown atheist.)

Edward went up to the bank, hearing a small voice in his head; it sounded like Alphonse. Edward felt some connection turning on, a click in his head, like a telepathy. (Now wasn't the time for him to think that this also sounded ludicrous.) But whatever it was, it sounded like Alphonse. He confirmed it by hearing the words: I love you Brother. Edward quailed at this, but fell onto his knees and looked toward the splash.

"Al?" Edward squeaked.

There was no response for a second.

Two seconds.

Three.

"Brother?" A large suit of armor sat up in the river, and the water reached up to Alphonse like that of a bathtub and a child. "Am I dead?" His familiar innocent voice, even though ruined by the words he spoke, was a harmonic chord playing in his ears.

"No Al, you're still here." Edward found that his words were choked and his eyes stinging.

Both brothers looked at each other, and at the same time, they apologized.

"I'm so sorry Brother, I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry for scaring you like that."

"I'm so sorry Al, I nearly killed you. I should've listened to what you were saying."

Alphonse stood up. "How did I survive, I should've fallen in head-first?"

"You were flailing your arms, you probably turned yourself around."

Alphonse saw his brother's red face, and, finding an excuse to change the subject, couldn't help but asking, in a smug tone, "Are you crying?"

"NO! Some water just splashed into my eye, and I think I'm allergic to fish water."

"I should get you to a hospital then." Alphonse would've been grinning at this point if he could.

"Nah, I'm good."

The two brothers walked off into the distant horizon, which was now cloudy, and dimly lit. They siblings didn't tell each other, but the same thing was going through their minds, even the older one.

"I/he was supposed to go headfirst into the water. Was it really the flailing, or was it an act of something more?

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**


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